On body ‘trends’.

So I recently encountered this article:

Please Do Not Put Glitter In Your Vagina

and, after the inevitable laughs/cringing, I kept seeing the same comment.

‘Who would DO this??’

And it made me kind of angry. Not at the commentators, nor even at those people who would fall for these trendy sort of products.

No no, I’m mad at the companies – the R&D, the production and – worst of all – the marketing involved in the creation of these abominations. Vagina glitter, much like thigh-gap-enhancing support garments or jeans, botox (yes I went there), eye-widening contact lenses (this is a thing?), skin bleaching and a veritable landslide of diet and exercise trends, are geared toward one insidious goal: to sell things by telling you that some part of you is not good enough.

Now, let’s be real. I am not against changing your appearance in healthy ways if you are so inclined – I love tattoos (if it’s through a solid, clean, licensed shop), I color my hair (not to disguise anything, but because I’m happier as a redhead). I am a firm proponent of exercise and eating healthy. Even if I struggle in accomplishing both of these on a regular basis. The key to these is knowing your limits and working within them. Eating in moderation. (Ask me some day how much I LOATHE the idea of ‘cheat meals’ – hello shame cycle of deprivation and gorging. Welcome to my eating disorder!) If you’re not sure what’s healthy to eat and what isn’t, ask a licensed nutritionist. If you’re not sure what exercise is going to be best for you, start with your doctor and then maybe a physical therapist.

You know who you shouldn’t ask for body/food/exercise advice?

The internet. And also the television. These ads, websites, products are all designed to make money from gullibility, depression, body dysmorphic disorder and general body shaming. Lots and lots of money. Companies work extra hard to make sure you feel really, really badly about yourself before assuring you their product is the one thing that will ‘fix’ what’s wrong and make you super strong, beautiful, attractive to the mate(s) of your choice. It’ll only cost you 3 easy payments of $29.95 (plus an additional $100 a month if you don’t cancel within the arbitrary trial period) and a piece of your soul. And if it doesn’t work – obviously you didn’t try hard enough. You didn’t want it hard enough. You’re so useless, you ugly fatty with the gross vagina-scented-vagina and average human shaped body!

Someday, when you’re feeling strong and supported, google ‘common eating disorders’. There are of course the ones you expect to see: anorexia, bulimia. That is just a fraction of the number of disorders that exist, and the marketing world has made bank by preying on these disorders: the fears, anxieties, the certainties that we each believe that as we are we are not physically Good Enough for the world.

If you’ll pardon the vernacular… Fuck. That. Noise.

You are beautiful. I know it’s hard for you to see it from the inside of your own head, but you are. (Believe me I struggle with this one All. The. Time.) Find something you love about your appearance and play it up. Rock it. Then find something else and rock it too.

Eventually you’ll stop thinking of yourself as a collection of bad parts and start seeing yourself as an actualized, whole, incredible human being.

So don’t put glitter in your vagina. It’s not supposed to look like unicorn snot, and yes.. it and you really is/are beautiful already.